been cyclin...

so much lately. on monday i met up with a friend who i went to high school with. it was really strange to see someone from back home here in london.  it was really comforting and i actually felt relaxed talking to him, which isn't always the case. 
yesterday i was late for class because it was raining when i was about to leave and i just couldn't be fucked to cycle in the rain.  i was going to take the tube but i only had like 1.50 on me and i wouldn't have been able to get back unless i asked someone for the fare, which i don't do.  i ended up going in a little before lunch and then leaving soon after because it was just pointless for me to be there.  i've tried making some things for our prompts but i really just hate this rotation.  i cannot think in the minds of a 3d person. sometimes i don't feel the tutors are as encouraging as i've experience before and that doesn't help when i'm stuck and its clear this is not my area.  it was fine drawing from the installations but i really don't know what i'll come up with for our final project. 
today i cycled around after the lecture talks, which were nice to go to. i really enjoyed the media section.  i feel thats probably where i should go.  there was no mention of anything to do with sound making though, but i'm still going to do it anyway.  i used to paint, but honestly it really just stresses me out.  its hard for me to focus on everything it takes for the process of painting.  i just feel suffocated and like i need to go fucking run through a field or something. i'm really into fields.  i thought the vis/com lecture was quite inspiring though i still, at heart, believe i fit more with the beliefs of the fine art area.  when i get a prompt, i immediately feel stifled, and that i don't know what to do or where to go and i end up just sitting there sort of falling into that spiral.  when i was in fine art, i felt i grew mentally/spiritually the most out of the ways we did things.  the emphasis is on creating and letting the meaning come to the work, which i had never before let happen.  i was always bogged down with always double checking there was a meaning before i began the work, which honestly is bullshit.  when i write music it tends to be a very organic and random flowing set of accidents, which i can go back and put together to make something much more meaningful and true to me.  i can never force myself to write.  i only do it when i feel that spark in me to grab a pen or a guitar and then it'll have been an hour passed and i have to go back to what i was distracted from. 
cycling around today made me really content.  i found beautiful areas, like around gosset street and columbia road, and quilter street.  there was a tiny little road i went through and found this posted on the door:

i've been meaning to find a tea house.  after going to the tea box in richmond, which has the most amazing devonshire scones, i've been trying to find a place where i can have afternoon tea and scones and just relax. i hope this place is as good as it seems.  

i bought some wireform today and some mod roc. i'm going to build a fox head for a photoshoot.